Hi Mudra!

Hi Mudra? How are you? How have you been doin'? 

It has been a year since you left.. a lot of things have happened but time still seemed moving so slow. There were many things that I have wanted to be telling you every day.. but I know that you are all seeing it from 'up there'. 

I still miss you... a lot. 

I have put my life at "half mast" since you left. I have been silently mourning everyday and every night. Although I don't cry buckets of tears anymore, there were times that I really breakdown and cry like baby when a certain thing reminds me of you.I even closed down my FB and my Twitter and I seldom Blog anymore. I resigned from the job that I really really love.

All those simple joys that lifts me up have suddenly lost its appeal.  I guess the road to healing is really very long and each and every step towards it is both painful and sad (not a very good combination, right?)but I know, I'm getting there.

Now that a year has passed since you left, I know it's time to REALLY move forward and start anew. Honestly I am not doing it because I want to, but because I know that it is what you would want me to do.It was really very easy to succumbed to sadness but I know it will not make you happy.

So here I am blogging my way to a new life. Picking up the pieces of my shattered life that I have left from nowhere. I know I will be a whole new person again in no time. One day we will see each other again for our hugs and kisses and by then, our time together will be infinite. For now, say hello to God for me, cause every night that I talk to HIM, I always ask him to give you my best regards. You always get my messages, do you? I believe so, after all HE is a great messenger.

P.S.

I love you.. :)

Happy TATAY's Day!! ;-)

The best thing ever that a father can do for the family is not how much money he brings into the house, not just the food that he put in the table, not just the tangible things that will give us temporary happiness, but the everlasting love that he can give us.. his children .. and to the woman he have promised to love FOREVER. Happy Father's Day Tatay! Thanks for loving us.. and thanks for loving Inay more than anything in this world! We love you!

The Truck of Happiness...

It's been exactly  2 weeks and 1 day since Inay have joined our Creator.

Since then, we are all trying our best to cope with the sadness of not having her by our side. I refused to think that we have lost her, we all believe that she is just around, just invisible but still guiding us in everything that we do. I always joke about those people who made us all "api" during old old days.. I said that no body can do that any more to us, we have a good back up with Jesus now. They have to think twice before they do harm on any of us. hahahah...! Everyone knows that my mom never sheath her claws whenever she feels that any of her family is not being treated fairly.

So now everyday, Inay is our shining Sun and at night she is our guiding Star.

Tatay, Gel, Joi and I (Bok is now back in Dubai so he really misses the fun. nyeheheh).. bonds on reminiscing Inay's naughtiness. She is the family's baby. My tatay spoiled her rotten. And with all her naughtiness and scheming ways.. each and every one is trained  to deal with her with maximum tolerance! hahahahah..

She has a love affair with COKE.. errr.. not the drugs. I mean the Coca - Cola. So when I saw this video of the Coca Cola Happiness Truck (from Chuvaness) I had wish that Inay had the chance to "PUSH the Button".

Oh how happy she might have been.. she loves surprises..

This video made me smile ..and really made my day....

Heartbeat..

The month of June also marks the wedding day anniversary of my parents. It was June 05, 1977 when they had decided to “tie the knot”. I heard from their stories that they have been married twice. One was a civil wedding and eventually a church wedding follows. Theirs was not what we can call a “teen-age marriage”, although my mother was only 17 and my father was 23 when they had me. During those times it may not be considered as “too-early” to start a family but for to people who are still striving to attain their dreams and (probably they may not know yet what their real dreams were.. ..) they were still considerably young to enter a married life and raise kids. Having to start a family at an early age, I felt that they have been deprived with a lot of things in their life. I used to call it “hinog-sa-pilit”. I think even both of them would agree to it, and because of the circumstances, the three of us ended Growing Up all together.

My father decided to work abroad and my mother had just been a plain housewife. We were once a typical OFW-family. I remembered a lot of happy things during my childhood days. I had my share of “good things” that not all of my friends have, never understanding that for me to have those things my parents need to sacrifice their being “together”. My parents had made sure that me and my brother Jeff would have a quality education. We have been sent to one of the best (if not the BEST of the BEST) schools in Manila when we were in the primary and secondary schools. Life gets harder, so the college schooling was a different matter.

I know they have tried their best to be a good parent to us. They may have their share of “shortcomings” like some other parent had. There were times when our strength as a family had been put into test. But then again I have always believed that real love would always put every thing in its proper places and time could really heal all wounds no matter how deeply scarred we were.

To my Inay and Tatay, may your love for each other and for our family continue to thrive. I breathe and live each day with both of you as my heartbeat and air. If I would die and have a second life, I would still choose to have you as my parents because between a wealthy life and a simple life with both of you.. I will always prefer to have you both over and over again. LOVE YOU!